PAT’S GOT A HOT BAT!

Holy good goddamn, Pat Burrell. I’m so glad you finally showed up to the party! And by “party,” I mean “playoff game.”

Mr. Burrell has achieved hero status in Philly today. He hit a three-run homer and then another homer
in game 4 of the Phillies/Brewers series (that’ll teach ’em to
intentionally walk R-Ho to get to you, huh, Pat?). Beautiful. Just
beautiful. I love Pat’s dingers (tee-hee!).

With
Pat the Bat’s totally hot home runs today–and also due to J-Roll’s
lead-off homer, Jayson Werth’s homer immediately following Pat’s first
homer, and outstanding pitching by Joe Blanton–
they managed to win the game 6-2…and advance in the playoffs for the first time since 1993! How exciting! The Phillies will battle it out with the Dodgers for the National League title (click here for the schedule of games). Can
the hotness that is Chase Utley, Cole Hamels, Pat Burrell, Jayson
Werth, and Greg Dobbs (honorable mention: Geoff Jenkins’ hot smile and
Ryan Madson’s pretty eyes) take on Manny, Billingsley, and the rest of
the Dodgers?
I think so. (I hope so, anyway.) My prediction is that the Phillies win it in 6 and advance to the Series. And your prediction is…?

Also:
I’d like to give a quick shout-out to my friend Justin. He’s been a
Milwaukee Brewers fan his entire life, and today he and I watched our
favorite teams duke it out in the playoffs. Props to Justin for
handling his team’s loss way better than I probably would have handled
it had the Phillies gotten knocked out of the playoffs, for putting up
with my screams of “I LOVE YOU, PAT BURRELL!!!” every time Pat did
something good, putting up with my constant ogling of Greg Dobbs’ sweet
butt, and not cringing at the scream/squawk/squeal I let out when the
Phillies won today’s game. Justin was recently interviewed in a
baseball-related article, which you can check out by clicking here!

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