I know, I know–I haven’t updated in a while. I’ve been going through a wee bit of baseball depression. Yes, I’m thrilled my Phillies got Doc, but dammit, I miss Cliff Lee. Lee was a favorite of mine before he came to Philly, and he’ll still be a favorite now that he’s no longer there, but…it’s just not the same, you know? I adore him, and he was my top priority to meet this year at ALS Night, and now I can’t because he won’t be there because he plays with freakin’ Seattle now. It’s not that I’m not grateful to have Halladay, but…Lee was the BILFiest BILF, you know? So I’m still kind of sad.
But these next few items I’m gonna post…well, you’ll see why I came out of my baseball depression to post ’em. They’re juicy, juicy, juicy.
As much as I love Pat Burrell, I’m no stranger to making fun of him a little bit. But seriously, Pat? I know this is just a little whisper-down-the-lane type of rumor, but if this is true…you’ve really outdone yourself this time. Check out the second little blurb on this Deadspin article (NSFW!). Oh, Pat the Bat…how did you manage to get “jealous” and “laughing hysterically” so confused? I know ladyparts don’t generally laugh, but if that scenario happened to me, I’m pretty sure mine would actually start snickering.
And this CDAN blind item is priceless. Absolutely priceless. I’m a very open-minded girl, and even I think this ballplayer’s habit is a little on the strange side. (And did the ballplayer really think admitting his little kink would actually impress any of the women within earshot?) The general consensus seems to think the ballplayer in question is Barry Zito, Brad Penny, or Derek Jeter. When I first read this, I immediately thought of A-Rod–because I could totally see him doing this…in front of a mirror…by his freakin’ centaur painting…, but the description of who the ballplayer has dated doesn’t seem to line up with A-Rod. I can’t help but think it’s Jeter, but wouldn’t Enty have acted more shocked if it were him (since Jeter tries to have a squeaky clean image in the public eye)? Which makes me think it’s perhaps Zito…because, well, Zito’s a little wacky, and this is a hell of a wacky thing to announce. So, dear readers, what are your thoughts on this, um, sticky issue?
P.S. I think I’ll be checking into future issues of GQ just to look at their photo shoots and see if I can figure out which ballplayer it might be…