Happy Halladays, Merry Cliffmas, and Roy to the World to Phillies phans everywhere and to all the BILF Reporter’s readers! I hope you find 35 pieces of Cole in your stocking on Christmas morning, even if you’ve been a very good boy or girl. 😉
If you’re looking to get into the holiday spirit Phillies-style, this is a must-read! Thanks to the fine folks at the Phillyist for writing this funny-as-hell Phillies version of “The Night Before Christmas,” appropriately titled “A Visit from Saint Cliff.”
On a day when there’s been lots of crappy baseball news–players behaving badly, club presidents dying–it’s nice to see a little ray of good baseball news. Cliff Lee’s suspension has been rescinded (his fine has been, too). He looked good in the simulated game he pitched last week, and it looks like the Ms are aiming to have him back on the Major League mound in very early May. Can’t happen soon enough, in my opinion…and I swear I’m not saying that just because he looks so fetching in his Mariners jersey. 😉 I happen to be K-poor on one of my fantasy teams, and I need him back on the mound getting me strikeouts!
No, I don’t want the Cubs’ shirts, despite the fact that Theriot and Hoffpaiur are total BILFs. I’m gonna want the Phillies and Twins gear, which I’m hearing is coming out soonsoonsoon (but not soon enough, dammit!).
I’ve been reading up on the new Victoria’s Secret/MLB clothing, and I swear I’m the only girl I know (with the possible exception of my friend Lisa, and she might only be excited about it when she can find Orioles gear in her local Vicky’s) who’s seriously stoked about this. A lot of people I know or whose blogs I read aren’t down with this clothing, for various reasons–they’re not into the overly girly/sparkly/hearts thing, they’re not sure the clothes will fit them nicely, they’re not sure the clothes appropriately reflect the spirit of baseball, etc. And those are all totally valid reasons to not be down with these clothes.
But for a girl like me? A girl who lives for glitter? Who goes to the ballpark in 5″ red stilettos? A girl who is sick of having to buy youth Medium shirts (not women’s, which are often too big, but YOUTH) so that they are form-fitting and don’t hang off her? A girl who would totally not be embarrassed to wear a shirt that says “love love love Phillies” because, well, she DOES love, love, love her Phillies? For a girl like me, this is gonna freakin’ rock. Finally! GIRLY CLOTHING! Stuff that will make me look cute(r)! Stuff that might actually make my boobs look good instead of flattening them out (yeah, the youth M shirts fit me, but they’re really not built for people with boobs–they’re built for, like, 13-year-old boys).
I’m not gonna be embarrassed to wear this stuff. Sure, some of it has a little bit of an airheady vibe, but you know what? Just as much as I know who’s hot on which teams, I know the stats of the players who matter. I know I’m gonna kick *** and take names in fantasy baseball this year (um, hopefully…hehe!). And I know that whether or not I’m wearing a shirt that says “I only kiss Phillies fans” (a great rule to live by, actually) that admittedly looks slightly airheady, I can talk baseball with the best of ’em. And soon I’m gonna look even cuter while doing so.
In other BILF-related news:
* My parents are in Clearwater right now watching Hamels pitch. Totally jealous? You bet your *** I am!
* Looks like the hottest Texas Rangers need a nurse. Hamilton and Kinsler are injured…poor babies! I’d gladly take care of them…
* My favorite non-Phillies, non-Twins BILF, Cliff Lee, seems to have gotten a little aggressive against the Diamondbacks yesterday. Behave, gorgeous!
Too much baseball stuff to read about–and the season hasn’t even started yet!–and too little time!
This guy is getting all healed up
and ready to pitch another stellar season (yes, I’m absolutely still a
Lee fan even though he’s not a Phillie anymore…I was a big Lee fan
before he ever became a Phillie, so nothing has changed in that
regard)…but this super-attractive BILF seems like he needs a little TLC as he heals his shoulder. I may be biased, but I think I’d make a really great nurse…or at least rock a really great nurse’s costume…
I’ve really been enjoying this Twins blog I just stumbled on recently…and in other Twins news, their minor league pitcher, Loek van Mil,
is REALLY hot. He’s a pitcher (that’s hot), and since he’s from
somewhere foreign–the Netherlands–I assume he’s got an accent (that’s
really hot). He’s also 7’1″. I have no idea what I’d ever do with a
7’1″ pitcher if I ran into him (except bite his ankles…I’m only
5’2″), but still. He’s cute. I hope he makes it onto the Twins’
roster at some point in the season.
And this article makes me optimistic about the Phillies’ 2010 season.
If Dubee’s telling the truth and we’re gonna get a MUCH better Hamels
this year than we had last year, I may very well be the happiest girl
on the planet. I’d love to see BILFy McBILF return to his 2008 form
(Lidge, too, for that matter!).
I cannot freakin’ WAIT for this season to start!
I know, I know–I haven’t updated in a while. I’ve been going through a wee bit of baseball depression. Yes, I’m thrilled my Phillies got Doc, but dammit, I miss Cliff Lee. Lee was a favorite of mine before he came to Philly, and he’ll still be a favorite now that he’s no longer there, but…it’s just not the same, you know? I adore him, and he was my top priority to meet this year at ALS Night, and now I can’t because he won’t be there because he plays with freakin’ Seattle now. It’s not that I’m not grateful to have Halladay, but…Lee was the BILFiest BILF, you know? So I’m still kind of sad.
But these next few items I’m gonna post…well, you’ll see why I came out of my baseball depression to post ’em. They’re juicy, juicy, juicy.
As much as I love Pat Burrell, I’m no stranger to making fun of him a little bit. But seriously, Pat? I know this is just a little whisper-down-the-lane type of rumor, but if this is true…you’ve really outdone yourself this time. Check out the second little blurb on this Deadspin article (NSFW!). Oh, Pat the Bat…how did you manage to get “jealous” and “laughing hysterically” so confused? I know ladyparts don’t generally laugh, but if that scenario happened to me, I’m pretty sure mine would actually start snickering.
And this CDAN blind item is priceless. Absolutely priceless. I’m a very open-minded girl, and even I think this ballplayer’s habit is a little on the strange side. (And did the ballplayer really think admitting his little kink would actually impress any of the women within earshot?) The general consensus seems to think the ballplayer in question is Barry Zito, Brad Penny, or Derek Jeter. When I first read this, I immediately thought of A-Rod–because I could totally see him doing this…in front of a mirror…by his freakin’ centaur painting…, but the description of who the ballplayer has dated doesn’t seem to line up with A-Rod. I can’t help but think it’s Jeter, but wouldn’t Enty have acted more shocked if it were him (since Jeter tries to have a squeaky clean image in the public eye)? Which makes me think it’s perhaps Zito…because, well, Zito’s a little wacky, and this is a hell of a wacky thing to announce. So, dear readers, what are your thoughts on this, um, sticky issue?
P.S. I think I’ll be checking into future issues of GQ just to look at their photo shoots and see if I can figure out which ballplayer it might be…
Last night’s game was another nail-biter. It shouldn’t have been, considering our 6-run lead at one point, but it was. The Yankees’ offense is annoyingly potent, and even Lee wasn’t totally lights-out against them last night–he pitched well, of course, but he gave up 5 runs. (I think he pitched much better than that ERA would lead you to believe, though.)
AJ Burnett, the only Yankee I think is really attractive, pitched about as well as he did when I had him on my fantasy team this year–which is to say not well at all. He didn’t last 3 innings. They kept panning the camera to him sitting in the dugout after he was done on the mound, looking miserable (where I noticed the hot Pisces tattoo on his hand and also noticed that his eyes are a truly gorgeous shade of blue), and if he wasn’t part of The Enemy I would be sooooooo tempted to console him after having such a tough night, haha.
As was the case in Game 1, this kinda turned into the Ut-Lee show. Chase Utley homered twice (one was a 3-run dinger), tying a record, and Cliff Lee pitched well, managing to not let the Yankees’ offense get too out of control. Jimmy Rollins had a good night, and Raul Ibanez had a nice solo shot. Madson scared the hell out of me for a few moments on the mound, but overall did a good job in relief (so did Park), although I would have been happy with whoever the Phillies trotted out there for relief so long as it wasn’t Brad Line Drive.
So now we look forward to a Game 6 in the Bronx. I think if the Phillies can win Game 6, they’ll win the Series in Game 7 simply because they’ll have shaken up the Yankees, who clearly expect to win this thing–also, by that point, the Yankees’ starting pitching is gonna be really, really tired (and in the case of Pettitte, who pitches Game 6, the pitching is gonna be tired and old).
But maybe they won’t win Game 6. Who can tell at this point? At least if that happens, the Yankees can win at home, christening their new stadium with a World Series win, and the Phillies won’t have embarrassed themselves too much in the Series (winning 2 games is obviously better than winning just 1!).
But those are worst-case scenarios. After seeing how the Phils played in Game 5…I beLEEve. 🙂
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Utley’s two homers off Sabathia last night were pretty hot, but Cliff Lee stole the show. A complete game (with 10 Ks and no walks), no earned runs for Lee, and a couple seriously amazing defensive plays…yeah, October magic is in the air, and Lee is at the center of it.
Now, I know it’s just one game, so I’m not gonna get too excited yet. But the last 6 teams who have won the Fall Classic have also won that uber-important first game in the series. It was also important to beat the Yankees in game 1 in their ballpark, against their ace pitcher. It showed the Yankees and their fans/the media that have been looking down on the Phillies that this team is serious about winning. Again.
Not only do the Phillies start Game 1 of the World Series with their best pitcher, they also start it with their hottest pitcher. *swoon* Tonight’s matchup (provided the rain doesn’t prevent this game from actually happening): Lee vs Sabathia. Hmmm, I remember seeing Sabathia during last year’s playoffs…Sabathia was a Brewer pitching against the Phils in the NLDS. He lasted a little over 2 innings pitching (granted, he was exhausted, but still), gave up a grand slam to the Flyin’ Hawaiian, and allowed pitcher Brett Myers to terrorize him at bat. (Hey, is Myers on the roster for this series? Could he DH tonight–y’know, to bring back some fond memoris of last season?)
So Friday night, I was incredibly angry, as I’m sure most other Philly fans were. I called my mother right after the game–I didn’t even bother saying hello, and just started in with ***** our bullpen! ***** Chase Utley!” (And no, I did not mean in the good/fun way, either.) But what I was really thinking–and forgot to say–was ***** our entire offense, too.” (Also not in the good way.)
Yeah, the bullpen was screwy in the eighth inning of Friday’s NLCS game against the Dodgers. And yeah, Utley should have not made that screwy throw (anyone else wondering if this is a sign that Chuttles is hurt?). But neither one of those things would have mattered so much if we’d had more than a 1-run lead against LA. Hello, offense? Were you guys napping? (Not you, Ryan Howard. You’re awesome.)
I was in quite a crappy mood on Friday evening. But luckily the Phillies’ offense redeemed themselves in Game 3 of the NLCS with an 11-0 blowout, along with the fabulous (phabulous!) Cliff Lee. 10 strikeouts, no walks, 3 hits…and he got a hit himself? And managed to look really good while doing all of this? I’m in love. Or lust. Or something. (I noticed he looked cold; I wish MLB would offer a job where you could apply to be the official hand-blower for pretty pitchers during the playoffs. Cliff Lee had to keep blowing on his hands because it was so damn cold; why waste the pitcher’s energy doing that when there are girls like me willing to help him out with that? Haha.)
Tonight it’s Game 4 of the NLCS. My parents are there (soooooo jealous, Mom and Dad!). Hopefully the offense will show up again, too. No need for an 11-0 trouncing tonight (although hey, if they’ve got it in ’em, then why the hell not?)–just a win will suffice. 🙂
Also: Saw Chad Billingsley (whom I call Chad BILFingsley) pitch last night…he pitched better than most of the other Dodger pitchers (for a while, anyway), but what is up with that playoff goatee he’s got goin’ on there? Ugh!
And finally, if you’ve not already done so, the BILFalicious Joe Mauer (swoon!) is up for the Clutch Performer of the Year Award. Click here to vote for him!