Tagged: Joe Mauer

Happy birthday, Joe Mauer…

happy.jpg…happy birthday tooooo yoooooouuuuuu!!!

 There are not many days where I wish I could ship myself halfway across the country and jump out of a birthday cake…but today is one of those days.  I’m sure many of you other ladies with excellent taste in ballplayers feel similarly.  Who’s up for starting a Traveling Cake Brigade with me?  😉

On a Phillies/Twins high…

home.JPGThe home openers for my two favorite teams (Phillies and Twins, just in case you’re new around here) were both yesterday.  Since both these teams have an off day today, I’m having a little baseball withdrawal.  I mean, there are games I can watch tonight (after Lost, of course–once May 23 hits, baseball takes top priority yet again, though!), but…they’re not with Phillies or Twins.  Or anyone attractive, really.  Actually, I might watch a bit of the Rays/Orioles game tonight–that’s definitely the most attractive matchup out there (Longoria, Bartlett, Balfour, Markakis).  Not that it has much to compete with in terms of BILFiness…I mean, Mets/Rox?  Oh, PLEASE–I’m not watching that until Street’s back from the DL.  Reds/Marlins?  No, thank you.

But I digress.  I’m thrilled my two favorite teams both won their home openers (Phillies–7-4 over the Nats; Twins beat the Sawx 5-2).  Not so pleased that Hamels was slightly sucktacular, and also not thrilled that Werth and Rollins are now injured.  Totally happy that the Phillies have a 6-1 record, tied for best record in the National League (tied with the Giants, believe it or not…who’da thunk it?).  Also thrilled with Jon Rauch, the Twins’ closer (since Nathan’s out for at least the entire season)–he’s netted me 5 saves so far for each of my fantasy teams.  (On a related note?  Tattoos are sexy.  Moving on…)

In related but completely unsurprising news, I really need to get my butt to Target Field at some point.  I have no interest in the walleye-on-a-stick, but watching Mauer hit a home run while I snack on some good ol’ midwestern cheese curds sounds like an absolutely grand time to me!  And speaking of Mauer, I watched his Homecoming episode on ESPN last night and absolutely loved it.  Mauer seems so sweet and charming!  I’ve also heard that he answers all his fan mail himself, so I’m going to have to come up with something clever to write to him.  (No, it won’t be “Marry me, Mauer”–that’s so overdone.)  Take a little peek at Mauer’s Homecoming episode by clicking here.  If you aren’t totally charmed by him…well, you’re probably just not human!

Yeah, so he’s pretty much a saint in my (only somewhat biased) eyes…

As much as I love the hot sideburns, gorgeous eyes, pretty lips, and
flawless backside of Joe Mauer, I think the reason I REALLY adore him
is because he is, from all accounts I have EVER read, an incredibly
nice guy.  This article just further proves my point. 
Going out of his way to make an old friend/new teammate feel
comfortable is really commendable–I mean, it’s spring training,
there’s a little thing called a contract for Mauer to think about, and
he’s still taking the time to help Hardy (also kind of a BILF) adjust to his new team and new
area.  He may be the most good-hearted, as well as good-looking, BILF ever!

A very hairy situation…

Yes, I know they’re not there to look good–they’re there to play ball.  But when you get used to ’em looking good, and the first pictures coming outta Spring Training make ’em look slightly scary…well, we’ve just gotta hope that they’re focusing so hard on their training that they simply don’t have time to look in the mirror and/or acquaint themselves with razors.


Joe Mauer, who was apparently mistaken for Nick Blackburn (also a BILF) due to his beard, doesn’t look too scary.  He looks much better clean-shaven, but he at least looks well-groomed.  Plus, I’m hearing that the beard gets shaven off today, which is fabulous news (I want to see the post-razor pictures, please!).




But Jayson Werth?  Totally scary.  Is he trying to channel his inner Sasquatch?  He looks much less like a svelte right fielder and much more like a hick or a caveman.  Let’s hope that, like Mauer, Werth has the good sense to shave that thing off his face…




The Mauer picture was originally found here.

The Werth picture was originally found here.  Hat tip to my mom for alerting me to the fact that Werth looks like some sort of scary mountain man…

Gotta love that Mauer Power!

Congratulations are in order for Joe Mauer, this year’s American League MVP!  Any idea how happy I am that Mauer won this award over Jeter and Teixeira?  It’s nice to see that it wasn’t a popularity contest and that the player who most deserved the award actually got the award…  Even with being out of commission for a whole month of the 2009 season, Mauer had some seriously crazy stats.  He earned this award!

Congrats to the AL Gold Glove winners!

alg_gardner-out.jpgThe American League Gold Glove winners were announced today.  Buehrle, Teixeira (for whom I have a rather intense and inexplicable hatred), Polanco, Longoria, Jeter, Jones, Ichiro, Hunter, and one of my favorite BILFs, the Twins’ Joe Mauer. Congrats to all, and a special congrats to the really hot ones (Mauer and Longoria, I’m lookin’ at you…but not you, Jeter, because you’ve got an oddly-shaped head and I still have no idea why you’re considered attractive).


The picture above is from one of my very favorite Mauer plays this season…where he blocked the Yankees’ Brett Gardner at the plate after faking a throw to first.  Smart guy, that Mauer.  Gotta love his defensive skills (and his hot sideburns…and his butt…OK, I’ll shut up now).

Random notes on the NLCS…

cliffie.JPGSo Friday night, I was incredibly angry, as I’m sure most other Philly fans were.  I called my mother right after the game–I didn’t even bother saying hello, and just started in with ***** our bullpen! ***** Chase Utley!”  (And no, I did not mean in the good/fun way, either.)  But what I was really thinking–and forgot to say–was ***** our entire offense, too.”  (Also not in the good way.)


Yeah, the bullpen was screwy in the eighth inning of Friday’s NLCS game against the Dodgers.  And yeah, Utley should have not made that screwy throw (anyone else wondering if this is a sign that Chuttles is hurt?).  But neither one of those things would have mattered so much if we’d had more than a 1-run lead against LA.  Hello, offense?  Were you guys napping?  (Not you, Ryan Howard.  You’re awesome.)


I was in quite a crappy mood on Friday evening.  But luckily the Phillies’ offense redeemed themselves in Game 3 of the NLCS with an 11-0 blowout, along with the fabulous (phabulous!) Cliff Lee.  10 strikeouts, no walks, 3 hits…and he got a hit himself?  And managed to look really good while doing all of this?  I’m in love.  Or lust.  Or something.  (I noticed he looked cold; I wish MLB would offer a job where you could apply to be the official hand-blower for pretty pitchers during the playoffs.  Cliff Lee had to keep blowing on his hands because it was so damn cold; why waste the pitcher’s energy doing that when there are girls like me willing to help him out with that?  Haha.)


Tonight it’s Game 4 of the NLCS.  My parents are there (soooooo jealous, Mom and Dad!).  Hopefully the offense will show up again, too.  No need for an 11-0 trouncing tonight (although hey, if they’ve got it in ’em, then why the hell not?)–just a win will suffice.  🙂


Also: Saw Chad Billingsley (whom I call Chad BILFingsley) pitch last night…he pitched better than most of the other Dodger pitchers (for a while, anyway), but what is up with that playoff goatee he’s got goin’ on there?  Ugh!


And finally, if you’ve not already done so, the BILFalicious Joe Mauer (swoon!) is up for the Clutch Performer of the Year Award.  Click here to vote for him!


So.  It’s late, and I’m sleepy, but I have a few random thoughts on the 2009 Hot–er, Home–Run Derby…

* Joe Mauer looked absolutely adorable.  I was glad to see that his hot buddy Morneau was nearby, too–it was fun watching Erin Andrews interview him.  My god, those Twins make me want to pack up my stuff and move to Minnesota.  Even though I hate the cold.  Seriously, it’d be worth it.

* Speaking of Mauer, I wished he’d have advanced to the second round, but I thought he did really well, especially since he is not usually a home run hitter (except this year, apparently).

* Oh, and also on the Mauer topic?  I decided that if he ever, like, sprouted fangs, he’d be the Sexiest Vampire Ever.  I know, I know, that sounds ridiculous, but take a good look:


Instant sexy vampire.  Just add fangs…

(OK, I admit I’ve been watching a little too much True Blood lately.  But seriously, a vampirish Mauer could comparatively make even Bill Compton and Eric Northman look ugly.)

I don’t think he means to–he seems entirely too sweet to really mean to–but Mauer freakin’ smolders.  *sigh*  Moving on…

* That Pena dude’s pretty cute.  The Rays are kind of underrated in terms of BILFiness.  They’ve got Pena, Balfour *swoon*, Burrell, Kazmir, and Longoria.  Having 5 BILFs on one team is pretty darn good.

* Prince Fielder’s children–or at least, I’m assuming they were his children–have the most freakin’ adorable hair I have ever seen.  Awww!


* Once I saw that the final round would be Fielder vs. Cruz, I wanted Cruz to win, just because I thought it would be neat if an underdog-type, who most people hadn’t really heard of before, would win.  Sadly, it wasn’t in the cards, but he did a great job.  Plus, I liked seeing so much of Josh Hamilton in the audience (since Hamilton was cheering on Cruz, a fellow Ranger).  His tattoos kinda drive me wild.

* Ryan Howard, the only Phillie in the Derby, did a nice job, making it to the second round.  He cranked out a couple killer homers, and he kinda made it look easy.  That’s one of the zillion reasons he rocks.  Hopefully he didn’t make it into the final round tonight because he’s saving up some homers for the second half of the baseball season…  🙂

I’m already giddy about watching the All-Star Game tomorrow.  So many BILFs to watch.  I mean, just having Utley, Mauer, and Morneau in the same place at the same time is enough to make me drown in a puddle of my own drool.  Then add Hamilton, Longoria, Hill, Halladay, Werth, Billingsley, Nathan, and Haren…  Yeah.  It should be illegal to have so much hotness in one spot!



I know, I’ve been slacking here…  But c’mon, I’ve got 3 fantasy baseball teams of BILFs to manage, plus I work, am writing a book, and there are so many baseball games for me to watch.  Baseball’s kind of a distraction that causes me to write less than I should.  Ironic, no?  🙂

Anyway, today is Justin Morneau’s birthday. Or BILFday in his case, ’cause he’s a BILF.  🙂  In related news, I’m super-excited because I’ll be going to the Twins/Yankees game at Yankee Stadium tomorrow.  I haven’t been to the new Yankee Stadium before, and I have NEVER seen a Twins game in person before!  I’m SO stoked.  There may actually be more BILFs on the Twins than on the Phillies… (Mauer, Morneau, Blackburn, Nathan, Harris, and–to some degree–Crede for the Twins; Hamels, Utley, Madson, Dobbs, Werth, and–when he isn’t in the minor leagues–Marson for the Phils.  OK, so the two teams are tied at 6 BILFs apiece…haha!)

In fantasy baseball news, I’m in first place, fourth place, and eighth place in my leagues.  I’m pretty proud of the first two, haha.  In the league where I’ve got eighth place, I attribute it to the fact that 2 of my best BILFs on that team (Mauer, A-Rod) spent all of April and part of May on the DL.  Once they’ve played more games, I bet I won’t be in eighth place for long…

Hopefully I’ll get some decent pictures at tomorrow’s game so I’ll have something interesting to post here.  In the meantime, LET’S GO, TWINS!  (And BILFs…and Phillies…)  🙂


It’s time to vote in the 2008 “This Year in Baseball” awards!  And I’m here to suggest particularly BILFalicious ballplayers to vote for.  😉

First of all, the link to go vote is here:

Secondly, I have a beef with the awards.  Where the hell is Cole Hamels?  Why isn’t he one of the Starter nominees?  Grrrr.  He deserves to at least be nominated.  After all, he’s the World Series MVP.  It’s kinda obvious by now that he’s good.

And here are my picks (based on BILFiness, of course):

HITTER: Josh Hamilton.  God, he’s gorgeous.  And I dig his tattoos.  Honorable mentions go to to Chipper Jones and Justin Morneau.

STARTER: Cliff Lee.  If Hamels isn’t one o the choices, then I guess Lee will have to do.  Sigh.

ROOKIE: For me, it’s a toss-up between Evan Longoria and Jacoby Ellsbury.

MANAGER: As if there are any hot managers in baseball!

CLOSER: Brad Lidge ’cause I’m a Philly girl at heart, but Joe Nathan’s hotter.  Then again, Nathan doesn’t have a World Series ring…

SETUP: Grant Balfour, of course!  Hot guy + Aussie accent…what’s not to love?

DEFENSE: Joe Mauer.  I freakin’ ADORE Mauer.  I know there are legions of ladies out there who prefer Grady Sizemore in this category, but I’m a Mauer girl through and through!

PERFORMANCE: These guys are all younger than the managers, but they’re just as hot…which is to say, not hot at all.  Talented, yes, but no BILFs here…

PLAY: I’m gonna go with McLouth here solely based on the fact that I kinda like his hair.

MOMENT: Josh Hamilton (again), for his Home Run Derby awesomeness.

ODDITY: Longoria again, just because he appears to be the only decent-looking one out of the bunch.

EXECUTIVE: Hey, who’s this Theo Epstein guy?  I’m not a huge Sox fan, but this guy could grow on me.

POSTSEASON MOMENT: Chase Utley, for a fantastic play in game 5 of the World Series.  Gotta love the Chuttles!

…And who are you voting for in these awards?  🙂