No, I don’t want the Cubs’ shirts, despite the fact that Theriot and Hoffpaiur are total BILFs. I’m gonna want the Phillies and Twins gear, which I’m hearing is coming out soonsoonsoon (but not soon enough, dammit!).
I’ve been reading up on the new Victoria’s Secret/MLB clothing, and I swear I’m the only girl I know (with the possible exception of my friend Lisa, and she might only be excited about it when she can find Orioles gear in her local Vicky’s) who’s seriously stoked about this. A lot of people I know or whose blogs I read aren’t down with this clothing, for various reasons–they’re not into the overly girly/sparkly/hearts thing, they’re not sure the clothes will fit them nicely, they’re not sure the clothes appropriately reflect the spirit of baseball, etc. And those are all totally valid reasons to not be down with these clothes.
But for a girl like me? A girl who lives for glitter? Who goes to the ballpark in 5″ red stilettos? A girl who is sick of having to buy youth Medium shirts (not women’s, which are often too big, but YOUTH) so that they are form-fitting and don’t hang off her? A girl who would totally not be embarrassed to wear a shirt that says “love love love Phillies” because, well, she DOES love, love, love her Phillies? For a girl like me, this is gonna freakin’ rock. Finally! GIRLY CLOTHING! Stuff that will make me look cute(r)! Stuff that might actually make my boobs look good instead of flattening them out (yeah, the youth M shirts fit me, but they’re really not built for people with boobs–they’re built for, like, 13-year-old boys).
I’m not gonna be embarrassed to wear this stuff. Sure, some of it has a little bit of an airheady vibe, but you know what? Just as much as I know who’s hot on which teams, I know the stats of the players who matter. I know I’m gonna kick *** and take names in fantasy baseball this year (um, hopefully…hehe!). And I know that whether or not I’m wearing a shirt that says “I only kiss Phillies fans” (a great rule to live by, actually) that admittedly looks slightly airheady, I can talk baseball with the best of ’em. And soon I’m gonna look even cuter while doing so.
In other BILF-related news:
* My parents are in Clearwater right now watching Hamels pitch. Totally jealous? You bet your *** I am!
* Looks like the hottest Texas Rangers need a nurse. Hamilton and Kinsler are injured…poor babies! I’d gladly take care of them…
* My favorite non-Phillies, non-Twins BILF, Cliff Lee, seems to have gotten a little aggressive against the Diamondbacks yesterday. Behave, gorgeous!
Too much baseball stuff to read about–and the season hasn’t even started yet!–and too little time!
This guy is getting all healed up
and ready to pitch another stellar season (yes, I’m absolutely still a
Lee fan even though he’s not a Phillie anymore…I was a big Lee fan
before he ever became a Phillie, so nothing has changed in that
regard)…but this super-attractive BILF seems like he needs a little TLC as he heals his shoulder. I may be biased, but I think I’d make a really great nurse…or at least rock a really great nurse’s costume…
I’ve really been enjoying this Twins blog I just stumbled on recently…and in other Twins news, their minor league pitcher, Loek van Mil,
is REALLY hot. He’s a pitcher (that’s hot), and since he’s from
somewhere foreign–the Netherlands–I assume he’s got an accent (that’s
really hot). He’s also 7’1″. I have no idea what I’d ever do with a
7’1″ pitcher if I ran into him (except bite his ankles…I’m only
5’2″), but still. He’s cute. I hope he makes it onto the Twins’
roster at some point in the season.
And this article makes me optimistic about the Phillies’ 2010 season.
If Dubee’s telling the truth and we’re gonna get a MUCH better Hamels
this year than we had last year, I may very well be the happiest girl
on the planet. I’d love to see BILFy McBILF return to his 2008 form
(Lidge, too, for that matter!).
I cannot freakin’ WAIT for this season to start!
So. It’s late, and I’m sleepy, but I have a few random thoughts on the 2009 Hot–er, Home–Run Derby…
* Joe Mauer looked absolutely adorable. I was glad to see that his hot buddy Morneau was nearby, too–it was fun watching Erin Andrews interview him. My god, those Twins make me want to pack up my stuff and move to Minnesota. Even though I hate the cold. Seriously, it’d be worth it.
* Speaking of Mauer, I wished he’d have advanced to the second round, but I thought he did really well, especially since he is not usually a home run hitter (except this year, apparently).
* Oh, and also on the Mauer topic? I decided that if he ever, like, sprouted fangs, he’d be the Sexiest Vampire Ever. I know, I know, that sounds ridiculous, but take a good look:
(OK, I admit I’ve been watching a little too much True Blood lately. But seriously, a vampirish Mauer could comparatively make even Bill Compton and Eric Northman look ugly.)
I don’t think he means to–he seems entirely too sweet to really mean to–but Mauer freakin’ smolders. *sigh* Moving on…
* That Pena dude’s pretty cute. The Rays are kind of underrated in terms of BILFiness. They’ve got Pena, Balfour *swoon*, Burrell, Kazmir, and Longoria. Having 5 BILFs on one team is pretty darn good.
* Prince Fielder’s children–or at least, I’m assuming they were his children–have the most freakin’ adorable hair I have ever seen. Awww!
* And on the Fielder topic: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU AND YOUR HOMERS LAST YEAR WHEN I HAD YOU ON MY FANTASY BASEBALL TEAM? Not that I’m bitter or anything…
* Once I saw that the final round would be Fielder vs. Cruz, I wanted Cruz to win, just because I thought it would be neat if an underdog-type, who most people hadn’t really heard of before, would win. Sadly, it wasn’t in the cards, but he did a great job. Plus, I liked seeing so much of Josh Hamilton in the audience (since Hamilton was cheering on Cruz, a fellow Ranger). His tattoos kinda drive me wild.
* Ryan Howard, the only Phillie in the Derby, did a nice job, making it to the second round. He cranked out a couple killer homers, and he kinda made it look easy. That’s one of the zillion reasons he rocks. Hopefully he didn’t make it into the final round tonight because he’s saving up some homers for the second half of the baseball season… 🙂
I’m already giddy about watching the All-Star Game tomorrow. So many BILFs to watch. I mean, just having Utley, Mauer, and Morneau in the same place at the same time is enough to make me drown in a puddle of my own drool. Then add Hamilton, Longoria, Hill, Halladay, Werth, Billingsley, Nathan, and Haren… Yeah. It should be illegal to have so much hotness in one spot!
It’s time to vote in the 2008 “This Year in Baseball” awards! And I’m here to suggest particularly BILFalicious ballplayers to vote for. 😉
First of all, the link to go vote is here:
Secondly, I have a beef with the awards. Where the hell is Cole Hamels? Why isn’t he one of the Starter nominees? Grrrr. He deserves to at least be nominated. After all, he’s the World Series MVP. It’s kinda obvious by now that he’s good.
And here are my picks (based on BILFiness, of course):
HITTER: Josh Hamilton. God, he’s gorgeous. And I dig his tattoos. Honorable mentions go to to Chipper Jones and Justin Morneau.
STARTER: Cliff Lee. If Hamels isn’t one o the choices, then I guess Lee will have to do. Sigh.
ROOKIE: For me, it’s a toss-up between Evan Longoria and Jacoby Ellsbury.
MANAGER: As if there are any hot managers in baseball!
CLOSER: Brad Lidge ’cause I’m a Philly girl at heart, but Joe Nathan’s hotter. Then again, Nathan doesn’t have a World Series ring…
SETUP: Grant Balfour, of course! Hot guy + Aussie accent…what’s not to love?
DEFENSE: Joe Mauer. I freakin’ ADORE Mauer. I know there are legions of ladies out there who prefer Grady Sizemore in this category, but I’m a Mauer girl through and through!
PERFORMANCE: These guys are all younger than the managers, but they’re just as hot…which is to say, not hot at all. Talented, yes, but no BILFs here…
PLAY: I’m gonna go with McLouth here solely based on the fact that I kinda like his hair.
MOMENT: Josh Hamilton (again), for his Home Run Derby awesomeness.
ODDITY: Longoria again, just because he appears to be the only decent-looking one out of the bunch.
EXECUTIVE: Hey, who’s this Theo Epstein guy? I’m not a huge Sox fan, but this guy could grow on me.
POSTSEASON MOMENT: Chase Utley, for a fantastic play in game 5 of the World Series. Gotta love the Chuttles!
…And who are you voting for in these awards? 🙂
Oh my goodness! I could barely
write coherently about the All-Star Game–I was too busy fanning my
brow every time I saw Josh Hamilton do something hot, or swooning each
time I witness Joe Mauer lookin’ good… Below is my disjointed
recap/account of the NL and AL All-Star hotties. Keep in mind that it
might be a little biased since I was rooting for the NL to win this
–CHASE! Did you almost let that ball hit you in the head? Oh, c’mere, Chuttles. I’ll make it all better.
–OMG OMG OMG THERE’S JOSH HAMILTON!!!! Never mind that I didn’t know who he was 24 hours ago. I’m thisclose
to being obsessed. This is all the fault of his tattoos. if he didn’t
have all the tattoos, he’d just be kinda hot. But he is AMAZINGLY hot.
–JOE MAUER!!!! My new favorite catcher! I’m almost becoming convinced that AL players are hotter than NL players…
–Hey, Cliff Lee almost kinda-sorta looks like Mike Delfino. Hmmm…
pretty hot. I never noticed that before. Somebody’s gotta be a hot
Yankee now that Phillips isn’t on the team anymore. I guess that
somebody is A-Rod.
–Ryan Braun, you look so young. I can’t possibly think you’re cute; you look like your voice still squeaks when you talk.
–Chipper Jones…not bad, not bad.
Although if we’re talking Braves, I’m totally a Francoeur girl. But
Francoeur was nowhere near making it to the All-Star game this year.
Hell, he was barely back in major league baseball by that point…
Holliday, are you cute or not? Off with the hat. I can’t tell what the
hell you look like with that silly hat on. On a side note, I hate the
Rockies’ uniforms; they look so out of style.
–What is the deal
with Grady Sizemore? I’m not convinced he’s hot. Not at all. Sorry,
Grady’s Ladies. I just don’t see it. Yet. Convince me.
entire Texas Rangers team hot? They almost have more hot players than
the Phillies do. Holy crap, I think I actually have a reason to visit
–Justin Morneau–such a cutie. Not hot, necessarily, but cute.
–I cannot believe I dumped Evan Longoria off my fantasy team. IDIOT. IDIOT. IDIOT.
–Screw you, JD Drew. (All Phillies fans hate JD Drew. It’s a fact of life.)
Nathan? Is hot? He’s on my fantasy baseball team (picked purely for his
talent) and I didn’t even know he was kinda hot? WTF? Am I losing my
–Who is this Wilson dude on the Giants who’s hot? I need
to get to know this guy. And not because I need another reliever on my
fantasy team. (Note: upon further research, this guy is Brian Wilson.
It’s weird thinking someone with the same name as a Beach Boy is
–Billy Wagner, I effin’ HATE you even more than I usually hate you. WAY TO GO, JERKFACE.
–Screw you again, JD Drew.
–Ooh, I like it when the camera pans to the NL dugout. Hi, Chase!!!!!! [waves madly at the TV]
–Dan Uggla, you SUCK. You were cute until you made that error.
–Uggla, you’re pushing it. Error #2. Two in a row! Now you’re really not cute.
Corey Hart. Pat Burrell should have beaten you in the NL All-Star last
pick contest, you know. He’d have looked a hell of a lot better out
there. Granted, he still can’t run worth beans, but his hair would be
perfect. Because, you know, that sort of thing totally matters.
dugout? Josh sofreakinhotIjustwannascream Hamilton! *squeal* Hey!
Camera! No need to pan back to the game! We’re in extra innings. That’s
not exciting at all!
–McLouth, whoever you are, your hair is kinda hot.
–Ooooh, Brad Lidge. This guy’s growing on me. He’s kinda hot. He’s no Cole Hamels, but he’s not chopped liver, either.
–Crap. I wanted this crazy-long baseball game to end…but not like
that. Damn you, American League. I’d totally hate you right now if you
didn’t have a bunch of hot players on your All-Star team.
In conclusion: I really need to find another adjective to use besides the word hot. Thesaurus, here I come!
Omigod, you guys. The Home Run Derby was amazing.
And not just because Josh Hamilton hit a crazy amount of home runs. It
was amazing because it was the largest gathering of attractive men I’ve
seen in a long, long time. Utley (my favorite All-Star) was present, of course, which was enough to make Yankee Stadium totally en fuego.
And then there was Dan Uggla, who has always seemed somewhat attractive
(except when he’s hitting homers against the Phillies)…and then a
whole bunch of guys that I’d barely heard of and had never seen
before tonight. Evan Longoria? Josh Hamilton? Justin Morneau? Being a
fantasy baseball team manager, I’d heard of these guys to some degree
(however, I know a lot more about National League teams than American
League teams, so I was slightly clueless about these guys). The thing
is, I had no idea these guys are hot. Especially
that Hamilton guy (a baseball player who is kind of a former badass,
whose arms are all tattooed up like he’s a rock star? Quick, I need a
Despite the fact that my boy Utley only hit five home runs, I’m still proud of him. And I’m even prouder
of Utley for his response when people (probably a bunch of silly Mets
fans) booed him, even though I’m pretty damn sure he didn’t mean to be
heard on national TV when he said it… Click here to check out Utley talkin’ dirty!