Tagged: Justin Morneau

HAPPY BILF-DAY TO YOOOOOUUU…

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I know, I’ve been slacking here…  But c’mon, I’ve got 3 fantasy baseball teams of BILFs to manage, plus I work, am writing a book, and there are so many baseball games for me to watch.  Baseball’s kind of a distraction that causes me to write less than I should.  Ironic, no?  🙂

Anyway, today is Justin Morneau’s birthday. Or BILFday in his case, ’cause he’s a BILF.  🙂  In related news, I’m super-excited because I’ll be going to the Twins/Yankees game at Yankee Stadium tomorrow.  I haven’t been to the new Yankee Stadium before, and I have NEVER seen a Twins game in person before!  I’m SO stoked.  There may actually be more BILFs on the Twins than on the Phillies… (Mauer, Morneau, Blackburn, Nathan, Harris, and–to some degree–Crede for the Twins; Hamels, Utley, Madson, Dobbs, Werth, and–when he isn’t in the minor leagues–Marson for the Phils.  OK, so the two teams are tied at 6 BILFs apiece…haha!)

In fantasy baseball news, I’m in first place, fourth place, and eighth place in my leagues.  I’m pretty proud of the first two, haha.  In the league where I’ve got eighth place, I attribute it to the fact that 2 of my best BILFs on that team (Mauer, A-Rod) spent all of April and part of May on the DL.  Once they’ve played more games, I bet I won’t be in eighth place for long…

Hopefully I’ll get some decent pictures at tomorrow’s game so I’ll have something interesting to post here.  In the meantime, LET’S GO, TWINS!  (And BILFs…and Phillies…)  🙂

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE BILFS…

It’s time to vote in the 2008 “This Year in Baseball” awards!  And I’m here to suggest particularly BILFalicious ballplayers to vote for.  😉

First of all, the link to go vote is here:
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/awards/y2008/tyib/index.jsp

Secondly, I have a beef with the awards.  Where the hell is Cole Hamels?  Why isn’t he one of the Starter nominees?  Grrrr.  He deserves to at least be nominated.  After all, he’s the World Series MVP.  It’s kinda obvious by now that he’s good.

And here are my picks (based on BILFiness, of course):

HITTER: Josh Hamilton.  God, he’s gorgeous.  And I dig his tattoos.  Honorable mentions go to to Chipper Jones and Justin Morneau.

STARTER: Cliff Lee.  If Hamels isn’t one o the choices, then I guess Lee will have to do.  Sigh.

ROOKIE: For me, it’s a toss-up between Evan Longoria and Jacoby Ellsbury.

MANAGER: As if there are any hot managers in baseball!

CLOSER: Brad Lidge ’cause I’m a Philly girl at heart, but Joe Nathan’s hotter.  Then again, Nathan doesn’t have a World Series ring…

SETUP: Grant Balfour, of course!  Hot guy + Aussie accent…what’s not to love?

DEFENSE: Joe Mauer.  I freakin’ ADORE Mauer.  I know there are legions of ladies out there who prefer Grady Sizemore in this category, but I’m a Mauer girl through and through!

PERFORMANCE: These guys are all younger than the managers, but they’re just as hot…which is to say, not hot at all.  Talented, yes, but no BILFs here…

PLAY: I’m gonna go with McLouth here solely based on the fact that I kinda like his hair.

MOMENT: Josh Hamilton (again), for his Home Run Derby awesomeness.

ODDITY: Longoria again, just because he appears to be the only decent-looking one out of the bunch.

EXECUTIVE: Hey, who’s this Theo Epstein guy?  I’m not a huge Sox fan, but this guy could grow on me.

POSTSEASON MOMENT: Chase Utley, for a fantastic play in game 5 of the World Series.  Gotta love the Chuttles!

…And who are you voting for in these awards?  🙂

PHILLIES PLAYOFF MADNESS!

My oh my, has it ever been
a super-hyper week for this little Phillies fan. I’ve got a lot to talk
about–and it’s not even all Phillies-related, I swear!

First
things first. Cole freakin’ Hamels. The BILFiest BILF pitcher of them
all. He is a pitching GOD. He pitched 8 scoreless innings in the
Phillies’ first playoff game against the Brewers. My parents were at
the game–I’m
sooooo jealous.
(Last time I saw Hamels pitch, it was when he imploded against the Mets
during that day/night doubleheader in early September at Shea Stadium.
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a game where Hamels has won. Luckily,
I’ve seen plenty of his wins on TV, though!) Anyway.
Hamels pitched awesomely in the first game of the Phils/Brewers series.
Then Brad Lidge scared the crap out of everybody in the ninth inning,
but hey, the Phils won 3-1, so that’s all that really matters, right?

Then today, Brett Myers pitched a fantastic game against the Brewers (and even caused some chaos at bat, making Sabathia throw him lots of pitches!).
Here I’d thought we were doomed, because Myers’ last few starts weren’t
so hot, plus the Phillies were facing the mighty Sabathia. But the
Phillies managed to chase Sabathia out of the game by the fourth
inning, at which point the Phillies were leading 5-1. Shane Victorino
hit a lovely little grand slam in the second inning. Beautiful! I’m
deeming Victorino and Myers honorary BILFs today. They’re not the
cutest Phillies, but they
are playoff superstars! The Phillies ended up winning the game, 5-2. Love it! (Want more details on how everything played out? Go here for fun, snarky commentary.)

The
Phillies have me a little worried, since a) in each playoff game so
far, they’ve scored all their runs in ONE inning, and b) they stranded
at least 10 guys on base tonight. But the next time they play is
Saturday, at Miller Park, and Jamie Moyer’s pitching, so…let’s hope
something good happens for the Phillies there, you know what I’m
sayin’? I won’t say any more about this–I don’t wanna jinx ’em. (We
Philly sports fans are superstitious like that.)

Another note about the Phils/Brewers series: WTF happened to JJ Hardy? The scruff’s gotta go, dude. It’s just gotta go.

On an anti-Mets note: I freakin’ love this.
I laughed my cute little butt off when I read it. Then I read it again
so I could laugh some more. (I’m sad that the Yankees aren’t in the
postseason this year, but I’m ecstatic that the Mets aren’t there.
Obviously.)

On a totally superficial note, I’m really pissed that the Twins lost Monday night’s tiebreaker game against the ChiSox. I sooooo wanted
to see Joe Mauer, Joe Nathan, and Justin Morneau play some playoff
games. I wouldn’t have cared that much if they won, though. I just
wanted to look at ’em. (Do they make midwestern boys cuter than east
coast boys? These Twins are
hot.
Are they all like that out there? Do I need to move to some state in
the middle of the country? Would the eye candy be worth it?) However: I
did note that the White Sox have a catcher who appears to be somewhat
cute. He has pretty blonde hair–I don’t know if he’s a decent catcher
or not, but I dig his hair. It’s this dude AJ Pierzynski (why is it
that EVERY guy named AJ is smokin’ hot? What IS it about that name?),
whose last name I’ve just learned how to spell, which satisfied my
inner spelling bee queen.

In other news: The Dodgers are kicking the crap out of the Cubs. Does anyone in LA actually give a damn? Or even know anyone who gives a damn?

And finally: In my first year of doing fantasy baseball, my BILFs and I came in second place! Woo-hoo! Here’s the proof:

LET’S GO, TWINS!

I
have never been to Minnesota. The closest I’ve ever been in proximity
to Minnesota was Chicago. I know next to nothing about Minnesota. So I
probably shouldn’t give a damn about the Twins, yet I’m rooting
hardcore for them to make it into the playoffs this year.

The Twins have been through a lot this year (namely: bye-bye Hunter, bye-bye Santana…and as a Phillies fan, do I ever wish
the Twins had kept Santana and not shipped him off to the Mets). I
think perhaps people started to not take the Twins seriously as playoff
contenders. But…they’ve got Morneau (swoon), who you may recall
won this year’s Home Run Derby (even though a certain gorgeous Mr. Hamilton hit more home runs than Morneau did, but whatever). They’ve got Mauer (swoon again), who is hoping to lock up his second batting title.
And right now the Twins are 1/2 game ahead in the race for the AL
Central Division Champs title, just ahead of the White Sox.
It all comes down to today (and, potentially, tomorrow) as to who wins this race.

At
work, we get into lots of discussions about baseball teams, and last
week I got a lot of shocked looks when I proudly proclaimed that I
hoped to see the Twins in the playoffs. I was like, “What? They’re
hot!,” to which one of my co-workers replied, “You are the worst
baseball fan
ever,
you know that?”, which made me laugh uproariously. But there’s
certainly something to be said for having eye candy in the
playoffs–right, ladies? And if that eye candy just happens to have a
lot of talent, too, so much the better, right? 😉

THANKFULLY, NO HOT TWINS WERE INJURED BY AIRBORNE RUBBISH…

Okay,
Twins fans–I get it. You’re passionate about your team. Hell, I am,
too–at least when it comes to super-hot Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau.
And it’s quite considerate of you (in a strange way) to
chuck stuff onto the field in an odd display of support for your team.
It’s kind of bizarre to me–after all, when we Philly fans are pissed
off, all we do is boo. We don’t throw stuff; we’re too busy booing and
swearing. Plus, our seventh innings just involve stretches, not
projectile-throwing. But as odd as this behavior seems to me, I do have
to commend you for at least not hitting any attractive players on the
head with projectiles. Because if the headline of this Yahoo article
had read “Mauer knocked out by flying Coke bottle” or “Morneau gets
black eye from airborne bag of peanuts,” I’d have been pissed, you
guys–really pissed. Good aim, Twins fans–good aim.

2008 ALL-STAR GAME: RECAP OF THE HOTNESS

Oh my goodness! I could barely
write coherently about the All-Star Game–I was too busy fanning my
brow every time I saw Josh Hamilton do something hot, or swooning each
time I witness Joe Mauer lookin’ good… Below is my disjointed
recap/account of the NL and AL All-Star hotties. Keep in mind that it
might be a little biased since I was rooting for the NL to win this
one…

–CHASE! Did you almost let that ball hit you in the head? Oh, c’mere, Chuttles. I’ll make it all better.

–OMG OMG OMG THERE’S JOSH HAMILTON!!!! Never mind that I didn’t know who he was 24 hours ago. I’m thisclose
to being obsessed. This is all the fault of his tattoos. if he didn’t
have all the tattoos, he’d just be kinda hot. But he is AMAZINGLY hot.
Purr.

–JOE MAUER!!!! My new favorite catcher! I’m almost becoming convinced that AL players are hotter than NL players…

–Hey, Cliff Lee almost kinda-sorta looks like Mike Delfino. Hmmm…

–A-Rod’s
pretty hot. I never noticed that before. Somebody’s gotta be a hot
Yankee now that Phillips isn’t on the team anymore. I guess that
somebody is A-Rod.

–Ryan Braun, you look so young. I can’t possibly think you’re cute; you look like your voice still squeaks when you talk.

–Chipper Jones…not bad, not bad.
Although if we’re talking Braves, I’m totally a Francoeur girl. But
Francoeur was nowhere near making it to the All-Star game this year.
Hell, he was barely back in major league baseball by that point…

–Matt
Holliday, are you cute or not? Off with the hat. I can’t tell what the
hell you look like with that silly hat on. On a side note, I hate the
Rockies’ uniforms; they look so out of style.

–What is the deal
with Grady Sizemore? I’m not convinced he’s hot. Not at all. Sorry,
Grady’s Ladies. I just don’t see it. Yet. Convince me.

–Is the
entire Texas Rangers team hot? They almost have more hot players than
the Phillies do. Holy crap, I think I actually have a reason to visit
Texas sometime.

–Justin Morneau–such a cutie. Not hot, necessarily, but cute.

–I cannot believe I dumped Evan Longoria off my fantasy team. IDIOT. IDIOT. IDIOT.

–Screw you, JD Drew. (All Phillies fans hate JD Drew. It’s a fact of life.)

–Joe
Nathan? Is hot? He’s on my fantasy baseball team (picked purely for his
talent) and I didn’t even know he was kinda hot? WTF? Am I losing my
touch?

–Who is this Wilson dude on the Giants who’s hot? I need
to get to know this guy. And not because I need another reliever on my
fantasy team. (Note: upon further research, this guy is Brian Wilson.
It’s weird thinking someone with the same name as a Beach Boy is
attractive.)

–Billy Wagner, I effin’ HATE you even more than I usually hate you. WAY TO GO, JERKFACE.

–Screw you again, JD Drew.

–Ooh, I like it when the camera pans to the NL dugout. Hi, Chase!!!!!! [waves madly at the TV]

–Dan Uggla, you SUCK. You were cute until you made that error.

–Uggla, you’re pushing it. Error #2. Two in a row! Now you’re really not cute.

–Ugh.
Corey Hart. Pat Burrell should have beaten you in the NL All-Star last
pick contest, you know. He’d have looked a hell of a lot better out
there. Granted, he still can’t run worth beans, but his hair would be
perfect. Because, you know, that sort of thing totally matters.

–AL
dugout? Josh sofreakinhotIjustwannascream Hamilton! *squeal* Hey!
Camera! No need to pan back to the game! We’re in extra innings. That’s
not exciting at all!

–McLouth, whoever you are, your hair is kinda hot.

–Ooooh, Brad Lidge. This guy’s growing on me. He’s kinda hot. He’s no Cole Hamels, but he’s not chopped liver, either.

–Crap. I wanted this crazy-long baseball game to end…but not like
that. Damn you, American League. I’d totally hate you right now if you
didn’t have a bunch of hot players on your All-Star team.

In conclusion: I really need to find another adjective to use besides the word hot. Thesaurus, here I come!

HOT RUN DERBY RECAP

Omigod, you guys. The Home Run Derby was amazing.
And not just because Josh Hamilton hit a crazy amount of home runs. It
was amazing because it was the largest gathering of attractive men I’ve
seen in a long, long time. Utley (my favorite All-Star) was present, of course, which was enough to make Yankee Stadium totally en fuego.
And then there was Dan Uggla, who has always seemed somewhat attractive
(except when he’s hitting homers against the Phillies)…and then a
whole bunch of guys that I’d barely heard of and had never seen
before tonight. Evan Longoria? Josh Hamilton? Justin Morneau? Being a
fantasy baseball team manager, I’d heard of these guys to some degree
(however, I know a lot more about National League teams than American
League teams, so I was slightly clueless about these guys). The thing
is, I had no idea these guys are hot. Especially
that Hamilton guy (a baseball player who is kind of a former badass,
whose arms are all tattooed up like he’s a rock star? Quick, I need a
cold shower…).

Despite the fact that my boy Utley only hit five home runs, I’m still proud of him. And I’m even prouder
of Utley for his response when people (probably a bunch of silly Mets
fans) booed him, even though I’m pretty damn sure he didn’t mean to be
heard on national TV when he said it…
Click here to check out Utley talkin’ dirty!